


I'm broken

by peanut_in_the_goal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26381527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanut_in_the_goal/pseuds/peanut_in_the_goal
Summary: Sirius thinks he's broken
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	I'm broken

“Re…” Remus looked down at Sirius. His stormy grey eyes filling with tears and looking frightened. Remus moved to hold him, eyes swimming with concern. “Re…” Sirius let out a sob this time, his hands resting on Remus’ forearms.

He looked so small like this, Remus thought. So small and so vulnerable. He doesn’t even know what could have caused it. 

“Re I… I think I’m bro-ken,” his voice cracked over the word. His breathing was picking up, he looked downcast, too afraid to even meet Remus’ eyes. 

Remus ducked his head, coaxing Sirius into looking at him. When it was clear Sirius wasn’t going to look up, or elaborate on what he was saying, Remus sighed. He pulled Sirius in tighter. Tucking his head under his chin, he ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair. 

“Si, why would you even think that?” He could feel his lover’s tears soaking through his sweater, his gasps, and harsh breaths over his heart. “You’re perfect, you aren’t broken.”

“B-but I am!” Sirius hiccuped, pulling back enough to look Remus in eyes. “I’m damaged goods!” It hurt how much he seemed to believe that. It hurt Remus how much pain he could see evident in Sirius’ eyes. His face had gone red blotchy, his eyes puffy, with his lip starting to split from all the pressure he put on it.

“Sirius, you aren’t broken. Come on. Sit down.” He carefully led Sirius to the couch. Pressing a kiss to his forehead he trailed a hand up and down Sirius’ back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. 

“I just, I don’t—,” he cut himself off with his ragged breathing. His nose sniffling 

“Shh,” Remus whispered. He slid his hand to grasp Sirius’, squeezing it to encourage him to continue. “What is it, love?”

Sirius looked up at his face. “I don’t work properly,” he said just above a whisper. His sobs renewed becoming louder. He shuffled himself a little further down the couch, away from Remus. He buried his face in his hands. 

“You shouldn’t want me.” He whispered. Remus rolled his eyes, scooting down to wrap his arms around Sirius. Nuzzling his face into his hair, he whispered a “why’s that love?”

Slowly Sirius lifted his head, his lips trembled. His chest restricted painfully. “ I… I don’t want to have sex…” There. He said it, Remus was going to hate him now, his moony would be disgusted and he would leave. Just like everyone, he would see him how all the other guys saw him.

What he wasn’t expecting was to feel warm, strong arms wrap around him. “Pads,” Remus softly whispered. “I’m not with you for that okay. I don’t want you for that. I only want you for you. I only ever wanted you for you. You aren’t broken. You’re perfect just the way you are okay?” 

Sirius couldn’t help but wonder, How did I get so lucky?


End file.
